I need the old me.

I am starting to lose identity. I am starting to lose who i am, who i was. I am starting to forget my grammar my intelligence my wit. I used to be smart but now i am dumb. Or damned. I used to consider that my legs are my best asset then it's gone. Stretch marks flawed it. Then I said at least I have a pretty face then I lost it to pimples. Then my fit slim hot body turned into an oversized rat that can sometimes  confuse you if its still a rat or a cat. That's me I turned obese and oversized that I no longer look like a normal person nor treated like one. It became awkward. That's how I lost the old me. I totally feel like a different person now. Physically and Mentally. Emotionally? Yes, I lost the old me too. I became impatient, arrogant even though I dont have the right to be one. I became a loser. I do not know how the supposedly finding myself turned into losing myself. I do not know how to pick up the pieces. I no longer know how to get up and live. I forgot who i really am. All i can see is how messed up i am and i cant move on. I just cant move on. The harder i try to move on the more i forget the more i suck. This is not who i wished i would be in this 22 years of my life and i know this is not the life i planned for myself but i can't get up, i can't pick up the pieces which were long gone. I had friends and now i have no one. No one. Maybe they grew tired of me. And i grew tired of me.