I need the old me.

I am starting to lose identity. I am starting to lose who i am, who i was. I am starting to forget my grammar my intelligence my wit. I used to be smart but now i am dumb. Or damned. I used to consider that my legs are my best asset then it's gone. Stretch marks flawed it. Then I said at least I have a pretty face then I lost it to pimples. Then my fit slim hot body turned into an oversized rat that can sometimes  confuse you if its still a rat or a cat. That's me I turned obese and oversized that I no longer look like a normal person nor treated like one. It became awkward. That's how I lost the old me. I totally feel like a different person now. Physically and Mentally. Emotionally? Yes, I lost the old me too. I became impatient, arrogant even though I dont have the right to be one. I became a loser. I do not know how the supposedly finding myself turned into losing myself. I do not know how to pick up the pieces. I no longer know how to get up and live. I forgot who i really am. All i can see is how messed up i am and i cant move on. I just cant move on. The harder i try to move on the more i forget the more i suck. This is not who i wished i would be in this 22 years of my life and i know this is not the life i planned for myself but i can't get up, i can't pick up the pieces which were long gone. I had friends and now i have no one. No one. Maybe they grew tired of me. And i grew tired of me. 

Bangs of the future

Hi there, I had a hair rebond and hair cut at Salon de Orient in Kamuning and I want to show you the result. My new hair is a masterpiece of my long time hairdresser Ryan. He really knows what he's doing and what I wanted. I must say I love what I see whenever I look at the mirror.

Here is another photo of me before the transformation occured. Always had my hair up since a hair down would be a disaster.

Wedding invitation

It's my sister's wedding and here's a glimpse of her diy wedding invitation.

The rainmaker - John Grisham

Bought this in the book sale at trinoma while waiting for my sister to finish her facial. I heard this became a movie in 1997. I was still 5 years old at that time so i wasnt able to watch it. Reading the book itself sounds better though.

Hair undone

Okay, i wasn't able to have some haircut today. Wednesday maybe. Piandré at trinoma mall has a cut-off by 7pm and unluckily we have arrived 5 minutes later and they're not willing to admit us. Anyway, i guess rules are rules so we might need some appointment by next visit. 

The night before my haircut

IIt's been a while since I last posted a blog or even write something about my thoughts. I am more into instagram lately and i found out looking at photos is way easier than reading lengthy blogs. But now i realized blogs are way more informative. Anyway, its 1:53 in the morning and i cant even sleep, thinking if i should get my haircut tomorrow or not. The conflict in this situation is or at least the conflict i am making up is losing some length would make my head bigger. A little bit ironic but its true aince i got some curly hair. Long hair makes it easier to fix yet its heavy and it makes my head ache. After all said and done. I guess i must sleep now and stop this nonsense. Looking forward to my next senseless blog. At least writing is makes. Way for my head to clear up before i sleep. So if you might notice thoughts before you sleep that seems important doesnt really make any sense. LOL ( my mom quoted that this morning and it made me laugh, how the hell she knows things like that) au revoir! I just googled this photos and piccollage-d it. Which would you prefer? Oh how i love both of them.

My point of view in taking chances

---angelsofie---

Life and Taking Chances

Some people say best opportunities comes only once. Other's say If it's for you it may go but it will surely comeback. Which of these phrases is more realistic? It's all about taking chances, whether to take it or not.

Life is all about taking chances. No one knows if you will be back in the same cross roads again but on the brighter side NO ONE knows if the path you take is right or wrong. They may have different points of view which they strongly believe in but still they don't know if it's right or wrong. It's only you who will know. If at the end of the road  you are happy, they will eat their words and accept it and be happy for you but then if you're not happy at the end of it you have made a mistake and can never take back the time lost but at least you have learned something that others didn't know and it is an enough reason to be happy about.

On the other hand, if you didn't grab the chance it's only you who will suffer. How? Through the emotional stress of asking yourself the WHAT IF'S endless questions, the questions which will never get the chance again to be answered. If you have made the choice of declining the opportunity you will always have the freedom of choosing other opportunities.Others say that good opportunities may be gone but a better one will surely come.

People find endless reasons to be happy. In the road of life there may be a traffic, an intersection or even a detour but remember that there will always be a light at the end of the darkest tunnel. Confusion and denial may arise but I want you to know that it's only you who will know the right and wrong. Other's will never be in the same shoes as you are and will never be in the journey that you will take although they may have their own points of view. Happiness will come at any choice you make, at any opportunity you accept or decline, and even if you went right instead of going left.

Always remember that at any point in your life there will always be one who will be chosen and other one who will be declined. It's normal and whichever you take don't get tired of finding reasons to be happy.

See you on my next blog.